space and mind..

The train was quite crowded today. I generally took a slow train to come to office, since one needed to be considerably heavy to tackle the forces in the fast train and I knew I wasn’t. Once I got down at Bandra even though I wanted to get down at Churni road, because of the push of the crowd, which I couldn’t resist. But the crowd didn’t seem to affecting much today, I found space in a small corner to sit. The thoughts about discussions I have had with few people kept on popping up in my head…human mind, its constructs, its obsessions, its strategies to tackle crisis when it failed to achieve its object of obsessions, power of spaces to condition our mind etc.
The experience of my visit to Church a day back is still fresh in my head. My family has never had a custom of going to spaces of worship, so I have never built associations with this space in a way someone who visits it regularly has built. I had some strange feeling of disgust, when everyone around me prayed intensely. It was my preconditioned mind which stopped me from feeling the energy of the space which was immense. And the sense of disgust even grew deeper when the priest started speaking about peace. It wasn’t pessimism in any way, but set of questions which I couldn’t answer to myself. I was trying to understand why one came to a space like this, what it meant to an individual, why one liked hearing “nice” or “good” things which one didn’t practice, why was I so disgusted etc. I don’t think I have the answers yet. But I am sure I will have some ideas soon. I will need few more posts for that.